Female & Male Endings

[Content Disclosure: Gender, Understanding, Passion, Reminiscing and no poker]

“Those who restrain their desires, do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained.” --William Blake

Well that certainly is one side of the equation Mr. Blake but a side I am familiar with. Not because I am what anyone would describe as a overtly emotional person. Just the opposite, but I have traveled with many manic, creative, socially high energy friends and lovers. I am not one to tolerate inane or insane behavior for its own sake, I generally just absent myself from such goings on. However, the wild creative energy that so often infuses artistic talent and emotional commitment does lend itself to over-percolation followed by incoherent eruptions. It is here where gender takes a role in my encounters with the varieties of the emotional precipice.

The few women with whom I have had messy, incomplete, unclosured endings; will invariably describe our final days as tinged with anger. My anger not theirs. I do not deny such characterizations. I object, of course, to the elevation of anger to a level commensurate with rape, murder and child abuse, but that is just a simplistic tactic of a gender unable to grasp the finer nuances of curling, the zone defense and beer pong.

Men on the other hand are completely different. I have male ex-friends, who would describe our defunct friendships in exactly the same way and anger would never be a factor. We were friends and then we were not. I have no idea if they have a "story" about how or why we became former acquaintances and I really don't care. Contrary to popular folklore men really don't "need" to be right in these situations. Two opinions, two positions, two points of view that irresolvable lead to an end. Done. Finished. No conversation required.

The other gender, from the land of hormones, wants completion, resolution and yes, closure; not to mention punishment. But, in my experience, these must happen without any bilateral process. They seek an ending that sheds a redeeming light on their unexamined behavior. (Play the "he was angry" card here.) How quiet they become when someone actually enters the conversation.

Desires come in all shapes, sizes and forms. Denying any of them is a sign of weakness. Controlling them is an indication of personal strength. Exploring them demonstrates courage. Being uncomfortable with your desires reveals your humanity and is never something to apologize for--ever.

Random Pokerish Thoughts

[Content Disclosure: 45% Poker sorta; 32% Wisdom or a reasonable facsimile; 9% Other, but I give good other]

"God does not play dice with the universe; however, she is not above a good check raise when you least expect it." -- Me

For my non-poker versed readers, a check raise is a move where you pass or check your opportunity to bet your hand and then when your opponent bets, you raise their bet with an even bigger bet. It is the poker equivalent of saying: "I gotcha!" And more than that, it is saying: "I gotcha and you had no clue it was coming." Now, of course, your opponent might just fire another even bigger bet right back at you but you get the idea.

I am not a big fan of the "Poker is like Life" books and articles. I also don't forward emails on why Men are Like Cars or Women are Like Wine. These are called analogies or metaphors and generally are too general to carry any more wisdom than a dribble glass. So, periodically you will find me ranting about such poker comparisons.

"Life is not like Texas Hold’em; Wall Street is not a game of five card stud and international politics is not the best place to practice your poker face." --Myself

Check Raising the Devil is a brilliant title for a book but in the eventuality you actually encounter Satan in your local card room, I suggest you fold and request a table change.

However for my true poker buddies, especially those in the poker media:

"Life is not like Badugi, Life is like Crazy Pineapple played with a joker, a live straddle and a full kill." --I

We now return you to our regular programming.

Cleaning Up After the New Year

[Content Disclosure: Detritus 12%; Flotsam 9%; Jetsam 17%; Dust Bunnies 23%; other 47%]

Time to put 2008 to bed and dance on into whatever comes next, but first some housekeeping chores I may have been putting off.

RSS feeds: For the many or several who have requested a notification when I put up a new post, the various feeds are now up there on the top of the right hand column, pick your favorite and you will never miss a witty, insightful bon mot from Keeping Your Head in All the Games.

Actual House Cleaning, Discarding & Transporting: I am just back from a trip to Sonoma County and I will be departing Las Vegas for a cottage in Sebastopol something mid to late month. The available sublet from an olde and dear friend just seemed too synchronous to ignore. I will be in and around Northern California until at least mid-May and then we shall evaluate the various options that life presents.

Another Book: Well it appears that the team (Amy, Mike and me) are going to press on with the partnership and begin the Matusow tournament book. I am planning to spend time with Mike while I am still here in Las Vegas and in all likelihood will work through the WSOP this summer to complete that project.

Dis-Ease: There seems to be a lot of maladies of all kinds around my orbit these days. Friends and family and family of friends are manifesting illness, age and dissatisfaction. I get it, no really I get it. My only advice is paying attention and participating in your own somatic presence. Don't turn your health or your life over to the gods of the white coats. Use them and their potions judiciously and wisely. Enjoy Life--This is not a Dress Rehearsal.

Frequency: I will be posting here more this year then last. I have way too much percolating to leave it all on the pillow, so stayed tuned and keep in touch; I shouldn't be doing all the talking.